Sorry folks – nothing for months and then 3 posts in one day. But it’s a day full of hard things, and I want to expel a few of them:
Chronic pain is exhausting. I have a few varieties: pelvic pain from endometriosis, weird hip pain, and back pain from scoliosis.
This has been a banner year for all three. The hip (and no, it’s really not lost on me that I sound like I’m 80) has been nagging and debilitating by turns, lately mellowing out to a throbbing pain that does not go away but does allow me to walk. Physios have told me it’s related to the scoliosis – which generates, when it is so inclined, a ball of gnawing pain right about where my bra strap hits. These both can sometimes be managed by the stretches and exercises and phisiotherapy, but lately, not so much.
Then we have the endo pain. There are a few sub categories here: there’s your supercharged period pain, your standard I-don’t-care-where-you-are-in-your-cycle, period-like but not-quite-the-same-as period pain (this one is particularly frustrating because it doesn’t even match the standard symptoms of endo), and then there’s the sex pain. Within the sex pain, we have the piercing holy-shit-you-just-hit-that-spot pain, the general pain that comes from being so tense because you’re worried about said spot being hit, and the odd, phantomlike pain that usually comes after sex…sometimes immediately and sometimes hours later. Sometimes lasting for hours, and sometimes lasting for days.
On the whole, there are lots of pains.
I did not intend for this blog to be a massive bitch session about what’s wrong with my body and my life, but lord help me, today I need to bitch. I am tired. And I would like a vacation from my body and its assorted pains. Also from my hormones. Unfortunately, the options for escaping one’s body are limited and unsavory.