Eli's Corner


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Waiting

Waiting for bloodwork to confirm what I already know after 3 at-home BFNs. Waiting for my period (5 days late, courtesy of progesterone). Waiting, because for the first time in three years, I have no further plan. Waiting to see how this is going to be ok, because I know it will, but if I try to think of how, my heart fails me.


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i’d like to give up infertility for lent this year

As you may have seen from my previous update, they were only able to get three eggs from my ovaries, but miraculously, two of those three fertilized.  

We got the call yesterday, and the timing in terms of where we were and what we were doing was incredibly sweet, but I kind of want to hold that close for now.  Kind of holding all of this close.

They rushed us in for a day 2 transfer this morning, and we saw our embies on a screen just before they were transferred.  One is 3 cells and the other is 4 – graded B and C respectively (the scale runs best-worst from A-D).

They wished us luck, advised me not to test early and to stay off the internet (ha!), and they tried to instill in us what they considered to be an appropriate level of hope – general positivity without too much expectation.

As it turns out, however, I’m already in love with these little cells, all seven of them.  I’m aware of the odds and all of that, but there is simply no mitigating how badly I want them to grow and thrive.  I’m blown away that each little embryo has the all the DNA of a unique person – a person made from me and my husband.  So I’m going to celebrate them as long as they’re around – whether it’s days, months, or for the rest of my life.  And I’m going to make myself a paper chain.