I had an HSG done today. It was so painful that I wrote a poem about it. And for good measure, I added a stanza about people who get pregnant instantly and are all smug about it. Not the most mature or well adjusted things I have thought, but I have thought them nonetheless:
Oh, the pain that I feel is insane.
It’s unreal, and it crushes my brain.
With my insides distended
My tubes now all rended
I can’t be intended
To act as one mended
And go back to work all the same.
(And you people profuse with your progeny
Flock ‘round me all rank with homogeny
Who no sooner couple
Than bellies are supple
With nary a scuffle
Unflapped and unruffled
to speculate at my androgyny.
Well, suck it.)